Halloween Epitaphs

 

Abbie Normal
B.A. Ghoul
Barry M. Deep
Barry A. Live
Barry R. Bones
Ben Dover
Berry D. Hatchet
Bill M. Lader
Candy B. Goode
Dawn Under
Diane Rott
Dr. Izzy Gone
Emma Ghost
Fester N. Rott
Hammond Eggs
I. Emma Ghost
I. Emma Spook
Jess Gough
Justin Pieces
Justin Tyme
Kerry M. Off
Lefty B. Hynde
M. T. Tomb
M.T. Box
Manny Bones
Mummy B. Ware
Orson Buggy
Otta B. Alive
R. U. Next
R.I.P. Van Winkle
Reid N. Weep
Sue D’Bum
Ted N. Buried
U. R. Gone
U. R. Next
Wil B. Back
Willy Rott
Yetta Nother
Yul B. Next
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie
Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young.

In a London, England cemetery:
Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico,
cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.
Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.
A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.

A lawyer’s epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

Anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.
Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.

In a Georgia cemetery:
“I told you I was sick!”
John Penny’s epitaph in Wimborne, England,
Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.

On Margaret Daniels grave at Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June
– Jonathan Fiddle –
Went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
Gone away
Owin’ more
Than he could pay.

Someone in Winslow, Maine didn’t like Mr. Wood:
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.

On a grave in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there’s only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.

The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania
Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with “R.E. Danforth’s
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid”
Oops!

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903–Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
But does he make house calls?

Dr. Fred Roberts,
Brookland, Arkansas:
Office Upstairs
In a cemetery in

Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June
– Jonathan Fiddle –
Went out of tune.
Any day above ground
Is a good day
Johann Bach
Musician
Still decomposing
After all these years

Here lies Walter Dudley.
He found out too late,
Dobermans aren’t cuddly.

Here lies Bill Boller
He got ran over by
A steam roller
(This tombstone is very tall and narrow)
Lizzy Bordon’s father lies here
(with many small stones around that say ‘and here’)

Mary Lass
Missed the brake and hit the gas

I was Fred
Now I’m dead

Mary Aster
Should have j-walked a little faster

Mrs. Derns
Now being ate by worms

C. Dracula
1236
1458
1527
1703
1823

1995
2010

Here lies my wife,
I bid her goodbye.
She rests in peace
and now so do I.

Here lies Vlad the Impaler
He bit off more than he could chew
Here lies the Pillsbury Dough Boy
He will rise again

Here I lie
And no wonder I’m dead,
For the wheel of a semi
Went over my head.

~ Dracula ~
“Fangs for the Memories”

Rest in Pieces

Here lies dear old Brother Tor
He couldn’t take it anymore
Here lies Frank
Dead by gun
Caught in bed
By another’s husband

Mary Mary quite contrary
how does your garden grow?
Quite well I bet
since it’s well fed
by your body down below.

Here lies the Father of 29
There would have been more
but he didn’t have time
First a cough
Carried me off
Then in a coffin
They carried me off in
Here lies my wife
In Earthy mould
Who when she lived
Did naught but scold
Good friends go softly
In your walking
Lest she should wake
And rise up talking
He got a fishbone in his throat
Which made him sing
an angel’s note
Here Lies
Ron D. Vous
He met with death.
Gil A. Teen
A Tisket
A Casket
His Head is in
the Basket
Here lies Kelly
We buried him today
He lived the life of Riley
When Riley was away
Bob took time from work
By bourbon required
Then he took to the road
Now he’s semi-retired
Once I wasn’t
Then I was
Now I ain’t again

Here lies Bill
He always lied
And he always will
He lied once too often
And now he lies still
When your razor is dull
But you need a shave
Think of the man
Who lies in this grave
It does my heart a world of good
To see you in a box of wood
In loving memory
from your grieving widow…
You slept with them all..
Now sleep with this
Dapper Dan
Was a lady’s man
And known for miles around
But he slept with Pearl,
The Gambler’s girl,
He now lies six feet under ground.

While living men my tomb do view,
Remember well, here’s room for you
Farewell my young companions all
From death’s arrest no age is free
Remember this, a warning call
Prepare to follow after me
The wise, the sober and the brave
Must try the cold and silent grave
Time was I stood where thou dost now
And view’d the dead as thou dost me
Ere long you’ll be as low as I
And others stand and gaze at thee
Here lies the body of Thomas Kemp
Who lived by the sword, and died by hemp
Time, like an ever rolling stream
Bears all it’s sons away
They fly forgotten as a dream
Dies at the opening day
Stop by here my friends
As you pass by;
As you are now
So once was I.
As I am now
So you must be.
Prepare for death
And follow me.
Behold and see as you pass by
For as you are, so once was I
As I am now, so will you be
Prepare unto death and follow me
RIP
GOOD FRIEND GORDON
now you’ve crossed the river jordan
RIP
in memorium uncle Myall
HERE YOU’LL REST FOR QUITE A WHILE
(Chuck Myall – Art Director)
REST IN PEACE COUSIN HUET
we all know you didn’t do it
HERE RESTS WATHEL R. BENDER
he rode to glory on a fender
(Wathel Rodgers – illusionist, mechanical genius)
HERE LIES GOOD OLD FRED
a great big rock fell on his head
AT PEACEFUL REST LIES BROTHER CLAUDE
planted here beneath this sod
(Claude Coates – Art Director, Master of Paint Effects and Lighting)

 

RIP MR. SEWELL the victim of a dirty duel
(Ted(?) Sewell – Engineer/Draughtsman(?))
IN MEMORY OF OUR PATRIARCH
dear departed grandpa marc
(Marc Davis illustrator, idea man, funniest Imagineer)
REQUIESCAT FRANCIS XAVIER
no time off for good behavior RIP
(Xavier Atencio – scriptwriter, and lyricist, Grim Grinning Ghosts)
DEAR DEPARTED BROTHER DAVE
he chased a bear into a cave
MASTER GRACEY LAID TO REST
no mourning please at his request
(Yale Gracey – illusionist)
HERE LIES A MAN NAMED MARTIN
the lights went out on this old spartan
(Bill Martin – Art Director)

<bat>
FREDDIE
the Bat
1847
<upside down> We’ll Miss You
<frog>
OLD
FLYBAIT
He Croaked
August 9
1869
<pig>
ROSIE
She was a poor little
Pig but she bought
the Farm
1849
<dog>
BUDDY
OUR
FRIEND
UNTIL
THE END
<skunk>
Beloved Lilac
Long on Curiosity…
Short on Common Scents
1847
Theo Later
U.R. Gone
Ray N. Carnation
Dustin T. Dust
Lev Itation
G.I. Miss You

I Trudy Departed
Rust in Peece
I.L. Beback
M.T. Tomb
There is a cat surrounded by little mouse grave markers.
One that says “Fi Fi”

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